A New Paradigm of time

Balancing life, medicine, and faith

Spare time is precious to me.

The time commitment of studying medicine has taught me to value any spare time I get to myself.

As I look to the future- I can only see things becoming busier with increasing demands, responsibilities and commitments as a medical doctor. I am sure I am not alone. Its not just medical doctors- all of us have our hands full in this fast-paced world.

Every day there is the tension of wrestling back time out of the day to spend time with God-in prayer, in song, in studying His word.

Without distractions.

Just you and Jesus.

And because of this, I have often wondered- “God, I have a desire to worship you extravagantly. I want to love you well, as you deserve. But youve put me in medicine. You know how time poor that has made me. Wouldnt it have been better if you’d given me something less time-intensive, so that I would have more time for you?”

I could never make sense or how I could be giving God the love He deserves if I was spending far more hours at hospital than I was in distraction-less, intentional quiet time with Him. Sometimes, this would make me feel disappointed in myself that I wasnt loving in the manner He deserves. I sometimes felt I was failing in my desire to love him well.

A NEW PARADIGM OF TIME

While reading through the book of Mark about the poor widow who donated what little money she had to God.

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.

(Mark 12:41-44)

We can see Jesus was moved by someone giving money out of their monetary poverty. Quantitatively the poor widow had given far less than the others but Jesus recognised her offering as the most extravagant act of worship of all- He saw the heart motivations behind someone giving out their poverty. And that mattered more to him than all the quantity of money in the world.

As I read, suddenly, a thought struck me.

If Jesus felt this way about the offering up of money- doesnt he not feel the same way about the offering up of our time?

If He is moved by us giving to him out of monetary poverty, will He not be moved by us giivng Him our time out of our time poverty?

Will He not be moved by the person who gives their all in the workplace as if working for the Lord (Col 3:23), comes home late, lovingly attends to their family and has an early start the next day.. and yet still sets aside time from their very limited supply to spend with God?

Just as he wasn’t concern with the quantity of money, Jesus isn’t looking for a specific quantitative amount from us. He didn’t say “everyone must spend x amount of mins with me each day”

I used to be blinded by this lie but no, Jesus’ real concern is the heart. A heart that gives out of what little is available reveals a heart fully in love with Him. A heart that donates a million dollars may not necessarily reveal the same.

The bible says people look at the outward appearance of actions but God looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:7).

The bottom line is this: God is deeply moved by our desire to give out of our time poverty. So let us let this truth be a powerful motivator to set aside time for Him because we all have the opportunity to touch the heart of God each day.

A Man that serves

Never ever underestimate the ability to pay close attention to details of a man who serves. He might not always be about the grandeur things, but he is always present for those little acts of love that build up the foundation of your relationship. If you’re sad, he easily figures it out and checks on you by asking, “how’s your heart?” or brings your favorite ice cream or chocolate bar. If you’re not feeling well, he will be there in front of your door bringing with him warm soup and medications to make sure you’ll be fine. If you’re worried for your post rotation exams or oral exams, he will be ready to cover you in prayers and encouragements. If you want them to accompany you while studying out, he tries to sit with you and drinks coffee with you just to keep himself awake. If you’re in need of help, he will be running straight to where you are and make sure you will not feel alone- whether it’s just for killing a flying cockroach at home or buying milk tea for your late night cravings. If you’re about to give up, he will be there to look you straight in the eyes and remind you that God is sovereign and is control of everything. His love will make you believe that there is a God who loves you unconditionally. He loves you but he loves God more and that makes you feel secured.

A man who serves finds joy in helping others and giving them things he received from God first. He loves to share his life to those who are in need. He doesn’t crave attention nor any recognition. He feels fulfilled knowing that he was able to point others to Christ by giving them what he has and that’s more than enough.

A man who serves never stops. He never stops running after God for leading and guidance. He never stops asking, “God, How can I serve you more?” This is his true form of worship; to use his life as a living sacrifice, holy, and pleasing to God. He will spend his whole life singing about the love that served him first.

So ladies, if you’re waiting for a man to marry someday, pray for a man who serves and you will be genuinely pursued for the rest of your life. Say yes to him and you will find your life never lacking but always giving, always full of blessings, and always flourishing.

Rushed Life

As you move through the stages of your life, you will invariably learn that things aren’t always as they are cracked up to be. And as amazing as life can be, there are also harsh truths that you tend not to acknowledge until they are staring you in the face. Just like life after the Physician Licensure Examination, I thought it was the end of my torture in making decisions. Oh boy, it was full of adjustments as being a full-fledged adult struck real hard. I began to see the “real” world as a late bloomer who spent the years acquiring knowledge and honing my skills to become a good doctor for my future patients.

I am grateful to finally reach this point, to reach this far where I achieved my dream of becoming a licensed doctor but I began to question my future when I began to compare my progress to other people who are already financially stable (and I’m just starting), who are getting engaged and married or having kids my age (funny how I have dreamt of being a multigravid mother LOL but it’s starting to get really vague now haha), and living their lives. Although I have already carefully thought about these major aspects in life before I entered medical school but I didn’t know that it would really hit hard that I’m now about to start my residency training and that I’m ending my 20s phase. Haha.

I have always wondered the science behind every human being in a hurry. You see the irony. We rush about as a means to an end: as a method for getting results in the form of good experiences, such as relaxation and happiness. I am guilty of it but really, why are we in such a rush? Is there a deadline to it? Do we expect God to follow our planned schedule? Should we do it our way or His way? It is so easy to be consumed by the lie of being productive. We want everything to be done according to what we expect it to be and if it turned out differently, we lose hope to who God is.

Rushing crushes our lives little by little. It is when we rush that we lose patience over the smallest of things. When we rush, we forget to enjoy the joy of little victories. When we rush, some relationships are thrown over and left behind. We abandon people when we rush. We think highly of ourselves and forget that life is not a race.

A rushed life is a life that lack in love. Hurry is absolutely not compatible with joy. It is incompatible with love. It is incompatible with peace. When we are in a hurry, we don’t get to soak in God’s presence that gives us that kind of joy, peace, and love. We are just too much in a hurry to experience the life with God.

Come to think of it. My worse moments were from those times that I was in a rush to make decisions. When I am in the moment to hurry, I lose control of most things. I start to lose my temper and gentleness. I have seen my day when I am in a rush so many times and it’s filled with doubts, unfulfillment, frustration, and confusion. Just like a day in the hospital especially when I am on a 24 hour duty- I really forget a lot of things and I don’t respond well most especially when I am in a hurry to finish my work. We get too busy prioritizing so many things that we lose the chance to prioritize that one thing that truly matters- our time with God.

You see, each season of our lives has its place and purpose. There is a season to be a child and a season to be an adult. A season to be single and to get married. A season of struggles and a season of resiliency and stability. Not because we see someone in their 20s achieving their dreams, e.g. opening a coffee shop of their own, finishing a postgraduate course, buying their own house and lot, traveled to countless destinations, getting married, finally learning to cook that perfect crisp of adobo pork, that we have to bear the spirit of pressure upon us. Don’t be in a rush. Take your time because you will get there at the right time. Don’t miss “the now”; the good things this season has for you. Just remember that wherever we are right now is a season that God has placed in our lives to take pleasure in and enjoy.

Be at your pace.

Sincerely yours 🙂

“IF I DON’T GET THE THING THAT I GIVE, THEN MAYBE OTHERS DESERVE IT MORE

What’s happening: “IF I DON’T GET THE THING THAT I GIVE, THEN MAYBE OTHERS DESERVE IT MORE”

This is the kind of love that this generation is having. People are at haste and want to get things over with. But continue to believe in waiting and letting things take its course naturally. Time is everything. However, many people who think that they have a zero chance for this man/woman or if they find the progress too slow, they immediately vanish because they always have this idea that they deserve someone who gives them what they want- all the attention. However, at some point, I do believe they do.

But when we go back to the very definition of love, loving someone means not forcing anything in return.

It means,

If you love her, you love her.

If you want to willingly help her, you give it freely without an exchange for coffee.

If you want to forgive, you will forgive and not ask for a house and lot in return.

If you want to show you care,

If you see her sad and disappointed, trying to hide the sadness and tears,

You will comfort her but you won’t wait and expect her to also comfort you in your darkest days.

Why? Because you do those things willingly out of love.

But, can we really stand showing love without getting any love in return? It’s painful. But it doesn’t mean that when you are the only person who is loving someone, you are wrong. You see, it’s never wrong. You are doing the right thing. You are doing the good thing. You are taking risks. You are loving without forcing anything in return.

Humility is absolutely attractive

Humility is so tricky that when you start wearing it, you lose its power. But when you start living it, people will be naturally drawn to you. Humility is the act of making yourself empty of pride, arrogance, and all sorts of selfishness.

It is the constant lifestyle of resting in God’s grace that says, “I will be the One who will exalt you at the right time for the right purpose. Be the last in this world and you shall be the first in my Kingdom.”

Humility gives a person the power to embrace opportunities to grow from mistakes and frustrations rather than staying in the prison of having to constantly impress others. Humble people realize that they are limited human beings. As a result, they wisely look for answers outside of themselves- from their faith or someone else who has gone few steps ahead of them. Humble people treat life not as a race but as a journey worth living. Ultimately, a humble person seeks God for wisdom, making him overflow with understanding that only God can give. He is not the one in the crowd who always claims, “I know”, but he is definitely the guy wearing a plain shirt, genuinely asking, “That’s amazing! Can you teach me more?” A humble guy appreciates people’s progress instead of focusing on his own credentials. A humble person appreciates the fact that the world does not revolve around him and accepts his position as just a tiny piece from God’s giant masterplan.

He pays high respect in putting value to other people’s opinion, even if it’s different from what he is standing for. He is mature and open-minded and learned that just because an opinion is different doesn’t mean it is wrong. There are countless sides in one argument and a humble person spends more time in listening rather than complaining. He is definitely not the guy that celebrates the downfall of the girl who rejected him nor the guy that celebrates his enemy’s setbacks

A humble person knows that joy is not found in being right and being at the top of the climb. He believes that joy is found in helping others grow and succeed while honoring God all through the entire process.

Humility is what makes a person absolutely attractive in the eyes of many. He has a lot to offer but doesn’t shout it for the world to know. He waits for the right time and occasion to use the power of his words and allow God to work in and through Him, so he could receive more of Him and less of himself. He has control over his heart, his thoughts, and his actions. Therefore, he receives more favor form the Lord, as he keeps himself still that it is God who will lift him up and not men.

Humility starts from the heart and never in our outward appearance. 🙂

Finally, licensed to heal!

Our PLE journey was very different from what most doctors encountered. Ours was in a time of crisis that brought another whole new level of ordeal. They say you have all the time to focus and prepare for the examination but maintaining our mental health state was another thing to take into account knowing that year 2020’s cataclysmic events in slow motion have disrupted thousands of people’s lives and disseminated a sense of uncertainty. Some of us were blessed to have good health and intact family but some had to deal with grief for the loss of their loved ones, the loss of family’s work, the loss of their home stricken by the typhoon. It was not easy. Certainly, there were “highs” of excitement and the enjoyment of learning. Things will start to make sense as you connect one concept to the other. But there were also “lows” of frustration with your pace, feelings of inadequacy, and unpreparedness. There were more of those the-more-you-know-the-more-you-don’t-know moments. But in spite of it, I am proud to have witnessed my batchmates’ PLE success. What great joy it is to see one rise up from the ashes.

In emphasis, my PLE success story was more of God’s faithfulness and the unbending support of my family and friends that played a crucial part in my journey. Because of them, I never allowed those down moments to define me. My family most especially Papa and Mama was my pure motivation to persevere and cross the finish line. They were the picture (second would be my crush JK) that I always put in my head when I am having those “bad moments”.

To my parents, thank you for your unyielding support and unconditional love. I am now a licensed physician and I wouldn’t be where I am right now if it weren’t for you both. To my sisters, my brother-in-laws, nephews, relatives, and friends! This is also for you guys. How blessed I am to have numerous people to count on. Thank you for taking the time to encourage, motivate, comfort, and help me in this medical journey. Thank you for spoiling me with your love and care.

To my mentors and CIM community, thank you for imparting to us all the knowledge you possessed to aid us and to prepare us for the board examination. As the days went by, we never felt alone nor neglected with your continuous support.

Most of us studied 15-20? hours per day (question mark because hahahaha I don’t study that long and the hours are varied) just to cover all 12 subjects. Despite all those efforts to prepare for the big battle, it did not seem enough. But I rested on the promises of God and that gave me hope during those moments. I am certain that He did not accompany me all those years of struggle in medical school for nothing. I held on to His every promise, and that the only thing I needed was to have faith in Him. Let go and let Him do His wondrous works.

Indeed, God is faithful for granting the deepest desires of my heart to become licensed to heal. He is the God of covenant and of faithful promises. And that time and time again He has proven that He who began a good work in me will bring it into completion. With conviction, there is no such thing as a lucky red ribbon empanada, red underwear/clothing, lucky pencils nor charms. No superstitions nor rituals will help us pass the exams. It was the amazing grace of God. I just brought with me my faith and grit- the most powerful weapon you must bring in the testing site.

Congratulations to the newly licensed doctors for this milestone! After years of sleepless nights, all the high-pressure exams, all the missed birthday parties, and weddings, anniversaries, and reunions, the hard work we endured have all come down to this single moment, and it seemed like we simply could not contain it. Continue to cherish and give time to your family and loved ones. Continue to live with purpose, stay humble, and don’t forget the true reason why we chose this path- to become physicians with a heart.

Birthday lessons

I am happy to spend my birthday with the people dear to me in this very beautiful place. It was indeed very cold but the warmth of love from my family and friends made the temperature bearable. Yes, it’s my birthday and I am blessed that the good Lord added one more year to my life to enjoy His beautiful creation and to serve Him more in this world that we are living in.

So here’s a prayer that I have for myself:

Delbeth, always choose to grow.

Grow in faith when doubts are overwhelming

Grow in faith when you can’t see your promised land

Grow in faith when you are in pain

Grow in faith when prayers are unanswered

Grow in faith when storms are raging and waves are crashing through

Grow in faith when people choose to leave

When life is comfortable and at peace, thank God and rejoice. When life is hard, trust God even more and sing a little louder- He is always doing something great that we don’t ever know.

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Lastly, grow with others.

It is always better when we do life together. Growing with others. I praise God for this big family that I have other than my biological parents and sisters. Truly, we all need people in our lives who will invest their wisdom and time to help us fulfill our God-given purpose. In fact, as we learn from our mentors and friends, God equips us to use our gifts and talents to disciple others.

Fifth year a.k.a Postgraduate Internship

You survived senior clerkship! (4th year)

Congratulations! You’ve graduated and earned your Diploma. You now bear the title of a doctor.

…and yay, you still have a loooong way to go!

The 5th year of Medicine is the Post-Graduate Internship year, as most Philippine Medical schools give their diplomas at the end of the 4th year. This is the year you’re no longer a student per se. You will become the Post-Graduate Intern, the “apprentice doctor”.

This is the year you will rotate one last time in all the different fields of medicine – you will be a surgeon, internist, a pediatrician, an obstetrician-gynecologist and a community doctor.

A GLIMPSE OF PGI LIFE:

Every postgraduate interns’ responsibility: Updating the Census

Updating the census means doing patient rounds during and before shift ends

Obligatory picture in the operating room 😂

Milestone: Performing a Spinal Anesthesia Block

My favorite day of the week is having to wear a comfortable pair of sneakers

From clerkship to internship, I have always loved apposing and suturing wounds. I am thankful for our surgical residents for allowing us to suture wounds on our own.

The Early Bird Catches the Worm but the Second Mouse Catches the Cheese

Life is a matter of perspective. Even when we talk about a sensitive subject matter such as love, it all depends on how you see it and it all depends on your perspective.

 

THE ORIGINAL VERSION USED TO BE LIKE THIS:

 

If you love something, set it free…

If it comes back, it’s yours; if it doesn’t, it never was yours in the first place.

THE PESSIMIST’S VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

If she ever comes back, she’s yours, if she doesn’t, well, as expected, she never was.

THE OPTIMIST’S VERSION: If you love somebody, set her free…

Don’t worry, she will come back.

THE SUSPICIOUS’ VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

If she ever comes back, ask her why.

THE IMPATIENT PERSON’S VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

If she doesn’t come back within some time limit, forget her.

THE PATIENT PERSON’S VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

IF she doesn’t come back, continue to wait until she comes back…

THE PLAYFUL VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

*If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat*

THE LAWYER’S VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

THE STATISTICIAN’S VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high.

If she doesn’t, your relationship was improbable anyway.

THE POSSESSIVE VERSION:

If you love somebody don’t ever set her free.

THE MBA VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free… Instantaneously… and look for others simultaneously.

THE PSYCHOLOGIST’S VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

If she comes back, her super ego is dominant. If she doesn’t come back, her IQ is supreme.

If she doesn’t go, she must be crazy.

THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

If she comes back, it’s time to look for fresh loans. If she doesn’t write her off as an asset gone bad.

THE MARKETING VERSION:

If you love somebody, set her free…

If she comes back, she has brand loyalty. If she doesn’t, reposition the brand in new markets.

Now you probably know what I mean when I say that life is not what happens, but it’s how you look at it and take it.

 

HERE’S MY VERSION:

If you love somebody, you will care enough to share your life to help, to give, rather than to get or to receive. If you love somebody, you will begin to invest more of your time, listen carefully to what the person is saying.

If you love somebody, you will rejoice at the person’s success. And most importantly, if you love someboyd, you would pray for that person and bring him or her to the Savior.Now that is what the real issue in love is all about. And this should be the right christian perspective.

 

-Francis J. Kong

A Next Pandemic Awaits

The mental health toll of the coronavirus pandemic is beginning to show itself. It is an altogether different kind of cataclysm- an ongoing, wavelike threat that seems to be both everywhere and nowhere, a contagion nearly as psychological as it is physical.

Due to the strict lockdown, people have been emotionally distressed. And it cannot be denied that the suicide rates have been rising since the beginning of pandemic and a solution has to be done or else, the next pandemic that awaits is a mental health pandemic.

As a concerned citizen, if you are one of the people planning to take your life, DON’T DO IT.

As bad as you may think your problems are, it is not the end of the world. Life is God’s gift to all of us, so don’t give it back to Him until you’ve lived it out completely. There are many pleasant surprises still in store for you, but you won’t get to enjoy them if you give up now, most especially, after this pandemic. Let’s conquer this pandemic together. Don’t lose hope yet.

Are you struggling with guilt? There are no mistakes that can’t be forgiven because even if your own loved ones won’t forgive you, God always forgives. Are you in hurt or in pain? Whatever pain you feel now may seem unbearable, but everyone gets through pain, one breath at a time, one step at a time, and one day at a time. Nobody goes through life without making mistakes or without getting hurt, but everyone always gets a second chance.

It’s okay to not feel okay. Don’t invalidate your feelings because it’s normal to have those days. It is necessary to slow down and allow yourself to wallow in what you are feeling. You shut the world for a time so that, eventually, you have created space to let the world back in. When you are ready, you  may share it to a trusted friend who can help you process your emotions. Don’t be afraid to open up, a true friend will always be ready to help.

Mental health is an important part of overall health and wellbeing. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It may also affect how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. So here are some tips I took from Mental Health Foundation on how to take care of our mental health: