Medical student feels

The more I read, the more I feel so inadequate. I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. Can I still do this for the next years to come?

Yet despite this internal battle I face daily while learning in medlical school, almost always when the tears just barely begin to well up in my eyes, a feeling of peace overwhelms me. Maybe I’m inadequate. Maybe I’m not good or smart enough and maybe I can’t do this…

BUT..

With my God, nothing is impossible. And with Him, all things are possible. The things that were only asked of me to do is to just take up my cross daily, follow and love Him, which right now, as much as I don’t like some of the things that I am doing- missing important events, staying up late to complete paperworks and read tons of chapters, getting stressed out with clinics, etc., means I need to do my part and try my hardest to learn this material to the best of my ability. All I can ask of myself is my best effort, and God will take care of the rest.

In a world and a life with so much uncertainty and unexpected challenges, I find comfort that my worries are irrational in light of a God that will see me through any and all circumstances and will never abandon me.

And so, I press on, trying to replace my worries with God’s love and grace, which, no matter what happens, will protect and carry me wherever this crazy life should take me.

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We are God’s delight

Ever felt so horrible trying your best to do the right thing in order to get something but it didn’t end up the way you planned it?

Let’s say, I have this friend who studies a lot but then doesn’t get a good grade meanwhile her classmate keeps on partying, sleeping and worst, cheating yet gets the good grades. Or is this you working so hard to pass on an interview but wasn’t accepted yet a friend without putting so much effort unexpectedly got the job. Is this you following all the rules during your pregnancy, she didn’t, and you found out that your baby has some congenital anomaly? Is this you praying for this lady for years but she still doesn’t picture her life with you?

“That feeling when we obey Jesus but we feel like the road we are going into is wrecked with heartbreak.”

This sentiments seem so familiar and is something we’ve all experienced, right? It’s truly difficult when we are doing the right things, and we see people doing the wrong things receiving the blessings that we desire. Whatever the circumstance, it’s common to compare and wonder what God is doing for others and not doing for us.

Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the lord's purpose that prevails.Proverbs 19-21

The Bible teaches us that God does answer our prayers (John 16:24). But there are a few things we have to be reminded at:

  • God’s answer may not always be what we were hoping for and it is always His purpose that prevails.
  • His answer sometimes is simply a “NO.”
  • His answer might be something we’ll never completely understand.
  • Always remember that His answer is always the BEST answer.
  • Always check your motives.

He loves us dearly, and His answers to our desires, longings and prayers are always what we need … even if they’re not necessarily what we want.

So… Is God even in control? Does He care about you…about me?

YES. YES. and a YES. There are things in our lives that we want to take over. We want to make our own rules. But stress relief always starts with letting God be God. The concept of the control of God over everything is called the “sovereignty” of God. Nothing gives me strength and confidence like an understanding of the sovereignty of God in my life. I hope you have this understanding, too. Always know that God is in complete control of every molecule in the universe at every moment, and everything that happens is allowed by Him for His own perfect purposes.

Does He care? Take a minute to count your blessings. Maybe we are so focused on other’s lives that we forgot that we’ve been blessed countless of times. Maybe we’re not contented with the life that we have at the moment. Maybe we have been carrying wrong motives all this time.

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There are a lot of verses that God says we are His delight, His beloved. When we measure our circumstances or compare our blessings to that of another, it is so easy to feel slighted, overlooked, and even abandoned. But when we open our eyes to the grand story happening all around us, we see the beauty that leaves us speechless. Yes, God delights in me. He delights in you. He is a good God that loves you dearly and blesses you no matter what you did or didn’t do. Not an obligatory love, but a love that delights in who you are.

I don’t know why some people fail while doing their best and others pass without putting in effort. I don’t know why God healed her family, but not your own. I don’t know why until now you can’t win her heart. I don’t know why your growing baby has a deformity. But I do know that we miss the expansive view of grace if we are focused on everyone else’s story.

Always remember that God is sovereign. That He knows what He is doing and He is always a good God even if we didn’t get what we want. We may not understand His plan for us but it will always be a good thing to trust His will for our lives because He knows everything. Just Trust in Him. (Provers 3:5-6)

Can you relate? Have you ever felt slighted by God? Start erasing those negative thoughts in your mind and start trusting His will for your life. 🙂

God’s promises

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)

★ Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

★ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13; some quote only verse 11 but I love how the Lord quoted verse 11 to 13)

★ Your Father already knows your needs. He will give you all you need from day to day if you make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. (Luke 12:30-31)

★ Stop doubting and believe (John 20:27)

★ But i know that even now God will give you whatever you ask (John.11:22)

★ If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. (Matthew.21:22)

★ Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

★ And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

There are many verses found in the bible that show God’s promises to you and these are my favorite ones! Remember that God’s Word is full of promises and these are promises made to His children whom He loves. And because God is God, and His very nature is truth, He cannot be unfaithful to all these promises. Everything that He promised to each of us, we can trust Him to carry out completely.

These verses are God’s guarantees to you. Through prayer and practice, these promises can become part of your life, giving you hope, joy and victory 🙂

How to get away with Ungodly Fear

“IF YOU ARE ALWAYS AFRAID AND ANXIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING… THEN, THERE’S ONE ANSWER TO IT… YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN GOD.”

Those were the words that struck me hard when our pastor was preaching during our Sunday service. This month was full of fear and anxiety. To name some reasons are my concern to Marawi city, near my hometown, was attacked by heartless Maute group, next, I was waiting for a very big news in school. There’s not a day that I think of what could happen in the next few days. There are nights that I feel hopeless and sad and afraid. There are days that I doubt His greatness. There are days that I think I deserved to be punished because of my wrong doings. Days passed by, the burden became more heavy that I can no longer bear. So, I poured out my heart in prayer.

Here’s what I learned from my reflection: God does not want us to live in fear. Fear definitely does not come from Him. It’s this world that teaches us to fear. The things that we see in movies, newspapers, and books are what make us afraid. The things we hear people say and see them do causes us to have fear. The enemy can make us afraid of everything, including our future. It wears us down worrying that something we fear is going to happen anytime and anywhere of the day. BUT we don’t have to be tormented by fear.

There are two kinds of fear: godly and ungodly. We must pray that we live in godly fear, which is good, and not give place to ungodly fear, which is tormenting.

One of the most common types of ungodly fear is the fear of man or a fear of rejection (one of my greatest fears). It’s a trap we can fall into without ever realizing it. In order to protect ourselves from it, we have to care more about what God says than what anyone else says. WE must look to Him for approval and acceptance and not to people. If God does not have first place in our hearts, we are constantly fearing, like myself. I admit my relationship with God that time was shaky. I was giving more time with my studies than my quiet time with Him. That’s why with a single petty problem, I freak out and get worried A LOT, I get paranoid A LOT.

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But remember that the Word reminds us that fear of man brings a snare, however, for those who trusts in the Lord shall be safe. There are so many things to be afraid of in this world. Sometimes all it takes is one news report to fill us with fear. Our imaginations alone can frighten us. TRUST ME. I hate my imaginations. I can make a horror movie in just 10 seconds.

So, there are 4 good ways on how to get away with ungodly fear that I would like to share to you.

PRAY.

Philippians 4:6-7  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

These are one of my favorite verses and these are famous ones, too. Many people memorize it wholeheartedly but when fear strikes, it is easily forgotten. Everyone feels afraid at some point-whether it is an anxious feeling in taking an exam or a phobia. Any change, even positive changes like marriage or a promotion, can prompt feelings of fear. But it just depends on how you respond to that fear.  To me, when I am afraid, I immediately pray to God because pouring out my emotions to the One that loves me so much is very comforting. Talk to God about your fears because He cares and He will without a doubt is ready to help you and guide you. I consider this as a blessing because it draws me closer to Him.

So when you’re afraid, always ask God to guard your heart and mind from the spirit of fear. Ask him to take that fear and replace it with His perfect love. Go back to His word. Cling to His word and His promises. Get hungry for His word. God is powerful and when you ask Him to take that fear from you, He will deliver you from it.

CONTROL WHAT YOU RECEIVE INTO YOUR MIND.

This week, I kept on entertaining thoughts from different people about how afraid they are on what will happen in the future. Some people are sharing me “What if” stories like what if we fail or what if our final exam grades weren’t enough. I kept on entertaining negative thoughts that also heightened my fear in failing. At times, I try to get away with it by watching tv but when I watch, I see many bad news and it adds more to my burden. So I decided to lock myself in my own room and spent my whole day listening to praise and worship songs, talking to God in prayer and meditating His word.

You see, the things of the world often make us afraid. Your fear depends on what kind of input you are receiving from the world. If you are a kind of person who listens to negative thoughts, watch scary  movies or frightening television shows, or anything that’s not good to us then you better decide to stop it now or else it will add on more fear and it doesn’t even help at all.

Do whatever you can to stay close to God. Fear disappears in the presence of the Lord.

BE IN THE WORD OF GOD.

Many times in my life when I am afraid, I found that all fear left me just from reading the Bible. In Medical school, it is filled with pressure and hardship and when I feel like I’ve been choked by all the circumstances. I try to pause for a while and then open my bible to read scriptures that encourage me. When I do, I tend to forget all my problems and my fear. Knowing what God’s Word says about our fear and the promises He has given us can make all the difference. In the face of fear, speaking the Word out loud is a powerful weapon against it, too.

LIVE IN THE FEAR OF THE LORD.

The more you get to know the Lord and understand who He is, the more you will reverence Him and fear His displeasure. This is called the fear of the Lord, and it makes you want to obey Him. It’s what draws you closer to God and increases your longing for more of Him. It makes you forget all the things that cause you fear, because they pale in comparison to His awesome power. When you have the fear of the Lord, you fear what your life would be like without Him.

When a good God allows adversity

Have you experienced the most painful and faith-rattling circumstance in your life? A circumstance that left you anxious, desperate, frustrated and disappointed?

2 years ago, I was struggling in my studies. It made me so down like it hit me rock bottom ’cause I felt like God wasn’t answering my prayers. The struggle was hard to bear and it took me quite a while to accept the things that had happened because never in my entire life did I struggled in my academics (well, not until I studied medicine). The pressure’s really real especially when you are currently studying in the country’s #1 medical school. However, I realized that the Lord taught me to be humble and to rely on Him because I was too proud of a person. The situation also taught me a lesson about the scope of the human’s ability to choose acceptance over denial and faith over fear.

Just this week’s reflection, little did I know that what had happened to me was not as destructive as I thought it would be. I have always thought that my problem was worse than everyone else’s. I was very self centered and only cared about myself. I have not thought about the thousands of people who had experienced worse situations than me, just like Joy Mendoza, whom I knew from her personal blog and book. She was an innocent and beautiful lady of God. She had parents who were very active in church and all out to share the gospel, she lived a happy life but unexpectedly their house was ransacked and she was raped by 10 people in her bathroom and bedroom. Naturally, we always ask the Lord, “Why did this have to happen? I am a good person, I have always followed You, God? I have been a good child meanwhile the bad people are living in relative happiness. Why?” We question God’s goodness and fairness. Sometimes we even doubt His existence. How can an all-good and all-powerful God allow good people to suffer and bad people to prosper? We are tempted to think about these negative things.

But, there were 4 pillars of non-negotiable truth that I just learned that would help us all in turning each adversity into victory shared by Peter Tan-Chi:

GOD IS SOVEREIGN

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Psalm 115:3 But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.

Our Father in Heaven is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent. And with that, He is in full control of everything; that nothing in the universe occurs without God’s permission. He has the power and knowledge to prevent anything He chooses to prevent, so anything that does happen must be allowed by God. Yes, He could have prevented us from any adversities, tragedies and even problems but He allowed it to happen, then we must trust that it is ultimately for our good.

Therefore, the only way to survive is to turn to the Lord, not away from Him. What option do we have? To give in to the despair or would we choose to look at the possibility that divine orchestration was involved? Let’s just cling to the verse Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, those who are called according to His purpose.” A sovereign God makes no mistakes. Tragic circumstances are ordained for a reason. While this is difficult to comprehend in the midst of suffering, it doesn’t change the reality that God desires our greatest good.

GOD KNOWS EVERYTHING

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1 John 3:20 in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things.

Like I said earlier, our God is omniscient. He knows the number of strands in your hair, He has counted and even named each stars in the night sky, He can count every grain of sand and before there is a word on our tongues He knows it all. And because He knows everything, He was not caught by surprise when the adversity stroke. We may never understand His wisdom, but we have to simply trust His will.

GOD LOVES US

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Thankfully, I found my hidden container with handful of encouraging notes and verses from my youth camp days inside. Here are some of the verses inside that reminded me of the Lord’s love for us. First, God loves us unconditionally. His everlasting love for us was demonstrated at the cross through His Son, Jesus, when He died for our sins and suffered for our sake. He showed His love through action and not just emotional feelings. James 1:17-18 says “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.” He has given you many scriptures that overflow with illustrations of His love, giving us assurance and promise.

God assures you in Psalm 100:5, “For the LORD is good and his love endures forever, his faithfulness continues through all generations.” This verse not only tells us of His goodness and love, but says that it is for us today, generations later. God is faithful through all generations.

GOD IS GOOD

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We must firmly believe that God is good ALL THE TIME. Wait, but what about the bad things that just happened to me? Yes, while the bad things may happen to any of us, bad things don’t have to define who we become or whom we choose to be. We can still choose to believe that God has a divine plan. We can still choose to love and forgive. We can still declare God’s victory in our lives to bless others and glorify God.

The reality is all of us go through trials, difficulties and hardships. Some are temporary illnesses, while others are long term, even incurable. When we cannot understand the why, we must look to the Who. So, despite the unimaginably hurtful circumstance that we may have experienced, our relationship with God, strengthened by God’s sovereignty and Word, should shine like a rainbow after a storm.

Always try to turn every adversity into victory. Remember that there’s a purpose why we were given such adversity; that there’s always beautiful surprises that can bloom from painful seeds.

Are you discouraged by circumstances? Are you broken by sin, by tragedy? Are you trap by chains of shame, unforgiveness and bitterness because of the trauma that you experienced in your life? You know what, Jesus can set you free, Jesus can heal you. All it takes is a prayer to surrender everything to him. Your life, that pain, that trauma and He will set you free. It’s only the Lord who can heal us, who’s going to make us precious. He is The One who makes us whole again.

You can pray with me if you like 🙂

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Does this mean I will be problem-free from this day forward?  I don’t know. I do not know what trial we may still encounter in our lifetime. But God still affords the same bountiful grace He has supplied. He has given the assurance of His presence with us in times of trouble.

Just Do Something

“I’m still waiting for God to give me a sign on what job to apply.”

“Should I choose this path or the other one?”

“Should I court her or not?”

Have you ever been frozen with fear of doing the wrong decisions in life or waited in vain for God to give some confirmation? Whether it be deciding what course to enroll, what path to take, what job to apply or where to live. All of us have been in that area of our lives where instead of making a firm decision, we just wait instead or better yet ask for signs.

A few years back, I was in that area of navel-gazing what to do. It didn’t take long that I received a book entitled “Just do something” by Kevin De Young from my best friend which finally answered all my questions. I used to be afraid of deciding for myself because I might be wrong or I might have been going against God’s will for my life. But this book was different and it completely opened my eyes. It invites us all a complete liberation, setting us free to do the work of the good Lord with joy in our hearts. It encourages us to go out there and just do something. The points are so simple, clear and straightforward.

So here’s what I learned:

God has a specific plan for our lives

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Fasting from Social Media

Going to medical school, in some ways, is like going back to high school with school every day again. It’s a change from the style of learning you’ve become accustomed to. Additionally, you may have more classes at once than you had during college. received_10206928523001811 However, the amount of information you have to know (and the detail to which you are expected to know it) makes college seem like it was a walk in the park. However, we are encouraged to look for activities that will help reduce stress other than studying and I can’t deny that social media is on top of my list. It’s one of the most effective stress-reducing activities for me. When I’m too tired to function and then try to scroll my feed on Instagram, I become awake and energetic instantaneously. Haha. Amazing how it can also save you from dozing off. But, I didn’t realize that social media was also one of the reasons why I always compare myself and still feel inadequate in my abilities as a friend, sister, classmate, and daughter.

Social media was also one of the reasons why I’m so addicted to beauty products (nothing wrong with trying to look good and feel good) because I love hearing people compliment me especially my eyebrows (Lol! Sanguine problems.), and I hate to admit that it’s the reason why I’m so addicted to online shopping. I always purchase clothes and things thrice a month and wouldn’t mind if I’m carrying an empty wallet. Other than that, I was surprised to know that I can survive eating once or twice a daily for a person who really has a big appetite. All of these things are the work of the enemy. I knew what I did was unhealthy but I still continued doing it.

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Thank God for Your neurons

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Lord Jesus,

I thank You for my neurons. For my well functioning dendrites and axons.

You created my brain for the purpose of bringing glory to Your name. I do not want my brain to be conformed to the patterns of this world, instead I ask You to enter all areas of my brain that You might give me the ability to process academic and spiritual wisdom from your Holy Spirit.

I believe that you created my inner most being and that my brain is fearfully and wonderfully made by your hand.

Lord I repent of all the times I have not regarded my brain and my learning abilities as a gift from You. I ask you to forgive me for the negative thoughts and words that I have spoken against my own brain and learning abilities.

I repent of trying to solve my learning problems through my own efforts rather than turning to receive your love, grace and healing touch first.

I pray that I will not have a Spirit of fear about learning new things. I accept your gift of the spirit of power, love and self-discipline into my brain.

Give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation that I might succeed in school and to know You better.

Thank you, Lord, for using me. For choosing me.

Thank you for blessing me with Your bounty. Your favor. Your love.

I feel more peaceful and fulfilled than I ever have in my entire life.

I am learning so much. Growing so much.

You are so good to me, Lord Jesus.

I don’t deserve Your love, Your grace, Your favor nor Your blessing.

Yet, you still love me.

Your little doctor in the making,

Delbeth

We are saved to serve

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Meet Nanay Dominika. She is a 60+ year old widow with two grown up children. She came to know the Lord when she was 56 years old when Pastor Gomez shared to her the gospel. Since then her life was changed. Through her life, her daughter and some of her grandchildren came to know the Lord. For six years now, she has graciously opened her little home to be used as a place of worship and prayer for First Word Christian Fellowship. A life changed by Christ is also used to change someone’s life.

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PMS + MOODSWINGS= BAD DAY

I was catching up with a good friend through Facebook messenger last night. It was like College all over again because we were reminiscing some of the funniest moments we had each other back then. I asked how he was doing in California and questioned him about having plans of pursuing her crush in work. His answer definitely brought my attention, “Aside from the fact that I’m not yet ready, I think I can’t handle girls and their PMS.”

—Okay. That part of the conversation clearly made me think of many things.

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First of all, men should be taught what PMS is before they start judging.

What is PMS anyway? It stands for Premenstrual Syndrome. Many men think it is the period itself, but it’s not. So what’s Premenstrual syndrome by the way?

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) refers to physical and emotional symptoms that occur in the one to two weeks before a woman’s period.

So what is it in PMS that makes men go crazy? It’s the roller coaster of emotions that women get for at least a week before the main event begins. PMS can cause wild, uncontrollable mood swings in some women, who may go from crying spells to angry outbursts, then back to a stable emotional state – all in one day. Aren’t we lucky? Haha!

Maybe if men did a little research and attempted to understand what PMS actually is, they wouldn’t be a headache to every women out there. Granted, I have found men who are considerate and take time to understand, but only a few.

We are not free from any unrighteousness.

Even though I am a Christian, that does not make me free from unrighteousness. I’m no perfect. The Bible even says, “Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way,” James 3:2 (NLT) But being imperfect is not an excuse for us to keep on failing or sinning. Should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Definitely no. We still sin no matter what but there’s always God’s amazing grace. Though His grace does not grant that we have the license to sin. It’s a reminder for us that we need Jesus to overcome sin. We need to humble ourselves and ask for forgiveness.

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