“The more I read, the more I feel so inadequate. I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. Can I still do this for the next years to come?”
Yet despite this internal battle I face daily while learning in medlical school, almost always when the tears just barely begin to well up in my eyes, a feeling of peace overwhelms me. Maybe I’m inadequate. Maybe I’m not good or smart enough and maybe I can’t do this…
With my God, nothing is impossible. And with Him, all things are possible. The things that were only asked of me to do is to just take up my cross daily, follow and love Him, which right now, as much as I don’t like some of the things that I am doing- missing important events, staying up late to complete paperworks and read tons of chapters, getting stressed out with clinics, etc., means I need to do my part and try my hardest to learn this material to the best of my ability. All I can ask of myself is my best effort, and God will take care of the rest.
In a world and a life with so much uncertainty and unexpected challenges, I find comfort that my worries are irrational in light of a God that will see me through any and all circumstances and will never abandon me.
And so, I press on, trying to replace my worries with God’s love and grace, which, no matter what happens, will protect and carry me wherever this crazy life should take me.