Medical student feels

The more I read, the more I feel so inadequate. I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. Can I still do this for the next years to come?

Yet despite this internal battle I face daily while learning in medlical school, almost always when the tears just barely begin to well up in my eyes, a feeling of peace overwhelms me. Maybe I’m inadequate. Maybe I’m not good or smart enough and maybe I can’t do this…

BUT..

With my God, nothing is impossible. And with Him, all things are possible. The things that were only asked of me to do is to just take up my cross daily, follow and love Him, which right now, as much as I don’t like some of the things that I am doing- missing important events, staying up late to complete paperworks and read tons of chapters, getting stressed out with clinics, etc., means I need to do my part and try my hardest to learn this material to the best of my ability. All I can ask of myself is my best effort, and God will take care of the rest.

In a world and a life with so much uncertainty and unexpected challenges, I find comfort that my worries are irrational in light of a God that will see me through any and all circumstances and will never abandon me.

And so, I press on, trying to replace my worries with God’s love and grace, which, no matter what happens, will protect and carry me wherever this crazy life should take me.

The Life of a Medical Student

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Before I started medical school I really had no idea what a typical day would it be like for a medical student. Other than going to school, how many hours of class do I attend to?What else is there to do other than studying? All I knew is that I was enrolled to a medical school with a problem-based learning approach. Who would have known that medicine would really change my life. Well, for the good. Of course.

1. Change of lifestyle

During the first day, we were welcomed with a message, “your life will be over for four years.” I am not going to sugarcoat things but the first whole year will be hard. You’re bound to spend more time studying than you did in your undergraduate studies.

I was having difficulty in adjusting with the problem based approach, in managing my time with studies, and maintaining a good study habit. The year did not only taught me about medicine and disease, it taught me about myself, my strengths and weaknesses. It helped me reevaluate my priorities and find meaningful ways how to cope up with stress and insecurities.

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Problem Based Learning

Do we really have to be less social in medical school?  As human beings, we strive to thrive so our initial instinct is to shy away from the crowd in order to maintain focus. However, it is important to look after our mental health or else we’ll end up burned out in no time. We can continue to socialize and build community with peers and also have a life outside of medical school. So, don’t be afraid to have fun and de-stress with people. Go to the movies after that difficult and draining exam, go and drink coffee with non-medical people or just stay at home and spend time with your family.

2. As you build self-discipline, you build time management.

In Medicine, you are given a bulk of chapters to read and if you don’t finish reading the set of chapters given to you, trust me, you’ll be in misery. Why? Another set of chapters are given to you the next day and you’ll be left behind. When you do not have control over your own self, how can you control time? So, time management is important though it can become an overwhelming task.

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It was all sweat, tears, and blood in order to finish bulk of chapters consisting hundred or more pages just to pass the exam. It was hard to stay optimistic despite countless of failed exams, absorbing and cramming the whole concept in order to be able to participate the small group discussion. But it developed my character on how to discipline myself. It helped me create new habits of actions toward improving myself and reaching my goal.

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