Rusty fingers

I started playing the piano when I was 6 years old. At first, I was never interested of the idea of playing the piano. I loved the fact that it sounds undeniably beautiful to listen to but I had 0% interest. I was just fulfilling my parents’ wish to let us learn piano. I remember the days when I have piano lessons every Saturday morning and still think of the times when I feel so lazy that I don’t study and read the notes but memorize how my teacher played the piece (Yes. I was a clever 6 year old.) or I always try to pretend that I’m sick or having deep sleep when she arrives. My piano teacher was kind enough to just leave and tell my mom she’d visit again next Saturday.

That one night, I woke up from a long afternoon snooze after hearing the most beautifully played piece. Out of curiosity, I went out of my room to follow where the sound came from. Slowly, the mechanical feel of the piano fell away and transforms into a richer, more real piano sound as I went nearer to the living room, and more and more natural sounds were introduced as the melody repeats. I was staggered to see my mom playing the piano. It was so exquisite that I didn’t even notice I was just looking at her for who knows how many minutes it went by. She looked so beautiful and passionate.

So after watching my mom of that amazing, life-changing experience, I decided that very night to learn to play the piano because I was so drawn to the harmony of that piece. It was music to my ears I tell you.

The next week, I was so excited to start my first serious piano lesson and always looking forward to learn a new piece even though it gets harder every time I level up. I’ve joined piano recitals every graduation and was so happy to be appreciated with many people. And as I continue to learn, all the more I got attracted to the piano and its sound. It just shows elegance and class. The glossy and smooth-black keys juxtaposed against the white keys were just so pretty. Every after practice, my fingers were always strained because of trying to span a full octave other than having a hard time of reading the difficult notes (haha) and yes, the efforts at first were in vain. My fingers were too short and I was so slow in learning. Pfft.

I play piano everyday but when I reached College, I only seldom play with it and it got worse when I went to Medical School. Haha. To no one’s surprise, I quit playing the piano as soon as I started my dream in becoming a doctor. I have always missed playing it but my studies are my priorities at the moment. It’s sad because until now I still miss the melodies and the counter melodies that twirl with each other in an intricate waltz as I used to play with it but now I can’t do it any longer because of my rusty fingers. Huhuhu. Oh well, even though my music now  is flawed and lost among the scales and crescendos, I’m still proud to say I can play the piano a bit. Hahahahaha! Sorry for the long and drama introduction, I was just going to let you show videos of myself playing the piano. Bwahahaha!

















10 thoughts on “Rusty fingers

  1. bravojoy says:

    Beautiful post! I started playing violin when I was very young and although I don’t practice as much as I used to, I still love it! It has given me a lot of great opportunities and I still enjoy playing and performing!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. dunelight says:

    Oh dear, that piano needs a good tuning but it is money better spent on Med school just now.
    I do not play well but find playing piano, for myself when no one else is around, is a comfort and quiet joy. I swear I can feel neural pathways firing and strengthening. My soul calms. I knew several people in music school who were pre-med. I also know a few doctors that are musicians as well. There seems to be a thread that binds music and medical.

    This next is a bit of a ramble. Music takes me to a place where pain is not important. I am a pain patient. I have multiple morbidities; a couple of brain surgeries due to forming cerebral aneurysms, arthritis…the list is long etc etc. When the pain levels began affecting cognitive functions they thought perhaps I had MS or was experiencing some early dementia but, no, from observation by docs for over a year we have realized it is pain, straight up pain that scrambles and delays the thought processes. Stressed and dying nerves do not quietly into that dark night. The human body has so many complex reactions to pain.

    For example; I can be at the piano, have a pain surge and then I have trouble with the notes, sometimes it’s my eyes that will not see or the hands do not do my bidding, but mostly it is the pain crowding out higher cognitive functions. The worst occurrence I was at the piano, a vertebra slipped (lax joints, unstable SI), I went into shock and in that disconnected state I did not recognize the notes. I knew they were a symbol system for communication but they did not make sense. I didn’t understand the language. That severe reaction only happened once, thank God. I have since learned how my body reacts to differing pain stimuli and how I can get out ahead of pain so severe it messes with cognition.

    Back to your post; music, it will be with you all your life, it will be your worst day at the hospital and maybe you will loose someone but you will come home and your music will take you up out of yourself into a better place.

    Sorry for the free-association ramble but I encourage all young doctors I meet to strive to better understand pain and what it does to a human body and mind. Opiates are brutal and I am waiting for someone like you, or someone from your class, to divine a better way so millions can live a better life.

    Bless you for wanting to help mankind. Thank you, we need more young people like you!


    • hellodewww says:

      Hi, @dunelight. How may I call you, by the way?

      You know what, tears won’t stop rolling down my cheeks while I was reading this long comment of yours. I can’t really come up with the perfect words to describe what I’m feeling right now hearing about the pain you’re feeling most of the days but one thing is for sure, my prayers will be with you tonight and the rest of the days. I pray that God may grant healing and will be with you all the days. Other than that, you also motivated and inspired me to do best in medical school. Thank you for the encouragement, I really need this!


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